The only thing that scared me more than anything was that I was the only one that couldn’t make you happy, but I was the only one that tried. If I hadn’t tried, if I hadn’t cared and stayed till the wee hours at night wondering, I could have made you happy, because I wouldn’t have intended to. 

But you get me wrong when you say that I only want you to be happy if it’s with me. I care for you. I care more than words and I have tried to put you over me so many times I’ve lost count, because I thought that way at least I could rejoice in your happiness, but you didn’t want to share it with me, because I had tried too hard and I DID try too hard.

Every gesture of heartfelt affection, I meant it. Every kind word I ever said, I did too. I will forever be there as a distant support, a phone number you can reach out to, a shoulder to cry on, but please, don’t. For my sake, for the first time I actually try and look out for myself, I ask you to give me air to breathe and forget and maybe forgive myself for all the pain I’ve inflicted me and quite possibly you.

So long, with all the love I can possibly give,

P.M.